Taking Off

It's been too long since I've posted on here. I would like to bring you all up to speed on what has occurred over the past several months of my life.

I am one with the dead, genealogically speaking and, in the past, otherwise. Working with the monument company was an incredibly eye opening experience from which I discovered my own Mortality. Spending my free time digging into the past and unraveling the life of ancestors who preceded me, I never realized that one day I would become nothing more than a leaf on a box inside a computer screen. Perhaps even a dead end in some people's case (I hope not, but you never know).

Putting a casket in the Grave once a week really makes you think of what your legacy will be. Having been in the shadows of my older brothers my whole life and being expected to be there at the beckoning call of Family really made me quite emotionally exhausted but the dream of picking up and leaving kept me going. I would plan stupid little trips in hopes that one day I would finally have the courage to pick up and leave.

I hit my lowest point in Idaho. Depressed, working 70 hours a week, going home to a town which I didn't feel welcome and spending the few hours a night tossing and turning before waking up and starting the day all over again.

I had a service in Libby, Montana one day and needed to get my haircut before heading out of town that weekend. The family was an hour late because they didn't take the time difference into account and so I didn't think I'd make it. When I rushed the 2 hours back home, I called the barber just down the street only to get the voicemail machine. I hurried down there anyway. I got out of my truck, approached the front door and the Open sign and the lights shut off in the window. I turned around to head back to my truck and heard a knock on the window only to see the barber gesturing me to come inside and have a seat.

Having been quiet, sitting there without talking and just pondering how I had ended up where I was, I was asked a question which I wasn't ready for:

"Are you Happy"? The Barber asked.

Replying with "I don't know", I was given a talk that I needed oh so badly. Unhappy with a great job, it was selfish of me to be there when someone would kill to have a job like that. Being encouraged to quit my job for the first time in my life, I was quite shocked. He continued on to talk to me about his decisions in life. He always worked for money and explained to me some downfalls and regrets of his own. Working for an airline for 17 years being absolutely miserable, his father encouraged him to quit for the same reason he encouraged me to quit. He didn't take his father's advice and was later laid off without any warning. He continued on about how life always works out financially if you keep working for it.

"Don't stay miserable because you make good money. Take it from me, 3 failed marriages, 3 times my life savings were split in half".

I went home, refreshed and feeling on top of the world. I had the greatest pep-talk of the century and signed up for an online course to Teach English as a Foreign Language. 4 days later I had it, though I didn't have a degree to go with it and I got an email from a school in the Czech Republic asking me to interview with them. Obviously, I couldn't but it was great having been contacted so quickly.

Feeling determined, I still didn't have it in me to pick up and leave. I was still needing to be pushed a little further and one day after watching 2 young kids bury their 37 year old mother who died of Cancer, I was ready to do away with the everyday life and live mine to the fullest. My brother, just getting stationed in Germany that Spring, I booked my one way flight to Frankfurt and I would arrive one week before Christmas.

I broke the news to my Boss/Uncle, I told my Family and, quite honestly, received very little encouragement, at first. The last few months at work were very much needed. Being high on life, counting down the days, I wondered if I was creating a mental advent calendar and having the days of destitution and regret finding their way closer and closer to me. People I worked with everyday (morticians and funeral home directors) were the most encouraging. Strangers I came across on multiple occasion gave me an abundant amount of encouragement and praise for taking a chance which they themselves regretted not taking.

October approached, work shut down, I began doing Freelance Work online and I made my way home to Tacoma where I would organize my thoughts, say my Goodbye's, get rid of most of my material things, and put my life in only a suitcase and a backpack.

December 17th I boarded my one way flight from Sea-Tac to Frankfurt, the Unknowns flying at me from all directions, I sat in my seat, plugged in my headphones and listened to Bon Jovie's "No Apologies" as the aircraft left the ground.

Goodbye, America. See you whenever I see you!